My light and strength

Shreeya Singh Dhakal
3 min readJan 29, 2020

Ever wondered how a small promise to your loved one gives you the strength to go through things you never thought you could? I lived my entire life with my family before moving to the US for my Ph.D. Grad school is different. America is different. Living by myself is different. A year and a half into the program, but there is still a lot of things that I cannot comprehend. I am learning, but at times everything is overwhelming. I still have difficulty in balancing between my courses, TA responsibilities, and research. But this time in grad school has made me realize how every day in my life is shaped by the promises I made to my Aama and Baba.

Aama: A promise to eat right and take care of myself… be healthy and happy. A promise to love and take care of Siri and Sreyash every day, forever!

Did I tell you that I used to make the best instant noodles? I ate instant noodles pretty much every day while I was in Nepal, but now it is hardly even once a month. Typically, my day starts with a smoothie, my heavy dose of proteins. I make sure I eat my rice for lunch because the queen will go crazy on me if I don’t! And did I tell you I have started eating all kinds of veggies, even broccoli?! I make sure I eat fruits, and I never miss my dinner ever! Never-ending lectures on healthy eating from my Aama and a promise I made to her made it all possible.

I love my siblings. It does not usually look like it, but I do. They are annoying — every sibling story ever, but I love them. They are my entire childhood and a huge part of everything that I wish for in the future. They are my Aama’s world and mine too. They are my responsibility, and I am theirs. We are together in everything connected by a promise we made to our Aama, a promise we made to each other. My Aama’s love for the three of us taught me to love myself and others without condition.

Baba: A promise to work hard every day; to become a woman of substance and a woman of change. A promise to be grateful and to give back.

I am not one of those geniuses who had it all figured out from an early age. I learned a little every day, experimenting with my ways through different interests. I always had the loudest cheer and the biggest supporter in everything that I did, my Baba. He made me believe that I am capable of greater things in life, and I am here to give back — to make a difference and touch lives.

The first year in grad school was an absolute nightmare. From working on a project that did not interest me to struggling with courses. While I can make friends just about anywhere, finding people who shared a common interest me was difficult. After one and a half years, I know a few people who are as passionate about language technologies as I am. I am involved with Women in Computer Science (WiCS) at my school to help in their mission to support women in computing. I have started an AnitaB Systers Affinity group to support women and other underrepresented groups from my country in their journey in tech. I am growing, and the promises I made to my father keep me at it.

There is so much more to see and do, and these promises will give me strength and help me through!

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